Hello, I’m Alecia, author of the MindShift Musings substack where I encourage personal balance and freedom through a lens of nuanced perspective and personal energy management, amongst other things.
Welcome to the discomfort zone, the place that many of us will try to avoid at all costs…
Unless, of course, we choose to see it as medicine that can trigger perspective and healing.
This path can ultimately make us stronger and more self-aware but taking this path comes with a conscious choice.
We have all felt some sort of discomfort lately. We can feel it in difficult conversations, scrolling into scary headlines that scream danger, family gatherings where people may disagree…and even within ourselves.
Such discomfort often comes as a feeling that there’s something to fix, avoid, or power through. I like to think of it as a signal which tells us that something inside us is rubbing up against something unfamiliar or something new is taking shape.
Sometimes it can signal danger, but most of the time it doesn’t. Most frequently, it shows up on the cusp right before personal growth, expansion, or clarity. It can be a portal to a more expanded way of being, but we have to be courageous enough to move through to find out.
Typically, most of us struggle with and resist discomfort, along with the tensions around and inside it which is a natural tendency. Of course I completely understand that because who enjoys feeling uncomfortable?
I know I sure don’t, but that doesn’t mean that I ignore it or try to avoid it…most of the time. Hey, I’m human!
Avoidance can simply draw in more of the very thing that we don’t want which keeps things familiar instead of free. Ignoring it doesn’t actually push it away as much as draw more of it in… for what we resist persists.
Resistance shows us what we have not yet become conscious of, integrated, or healed by offering us the chance to look at it through repeated exposure.
That inner resistance creates a tension inside of us which carries a charge with it. This charge can continue to draw the same people, themes, patterns, or experiences back into view until we’re willing to meet them with conscious awareness instead of avoidance.
Those of us coming from a more spiritual perspective often have a tendency to approach the internal lack of ease a little differently. We try our best not to shy away from discomfort or shadow, although sometimes we save it for later to better honor our capacity and flow.
We try to remember that we’re not perfect and we don’t hold ourselves to such impossible standards. We allow ourselves the grace and personal agency to revisit the discomfort when it feels right to us…most of the time.
But sometimes it continues to feel like a burr under our saddle. It just won’t let up until we have the presence and courage to look it straight in the eye.
These concepts also translate into the tension that exists when we’re in disagreement with others which are uncomfortable for most of us.
When we’re coming from a less conscious place, we almost immediately jump to the emotional conclusion that “they’re wrong”, rarely examining ourselves in the process.
Sometimes this comes about because they’ve disrespected or hurt us so we immediately put up our shields and fight back. But that’s a kneejerk emotional response that often doesn’t serve us very well.
There’s no judgment around that because we understand that our emotions often come more quickly than we have time to consciously process. We simply notice our initial responses with neutrality applying liberal doses of consciousness to the more imbalanced aspects of our thoughts and emotions.
Spiritual maturity invites us to meet life with awareness so we remain the conscious driver of our own experience instead of slipping into the passenger seat while ego takes the wheel which is not a desirable place to be.
There’s something I’ve come to understand about this over many years. I’ve learned when I feel discomfort or tension, that’s my cue to check in more deeply to assess where the discomfort is coming from. I call this self-excavation.
I ask myself where the trigger for the discomfort came from and where do I want to go with that information next?
Is there something that I’m invited to notice, question, or change?
Is there a shift in perception or belief that I need to make?
Is there something external to me that’s giving me signals that it’s not for me?
Do I need to take action on that somehow?
We can view discomfort as a signal to pause, to check in with ourselves internally, and to listen closely for what shows up.
We try to stay present long enough to follow the breadcrumbs to better understand where the discomfort is trying to lead us.
Spiritual people are more naturally wired towards internal peace and presence so we sense the discomfort exists for a reason. This allows us to view it more neutrally as a challenge. or as a puzzle, to try to better figure out why we feel the way we do.
It’s a process of discernment trying to assess where the root of discomfort or tension lies, where it comes from, and what we want to do about it, if anything.
At first, we’re simply checking in and observing. We’re there to listen for our internal cues - that still small voice that gives us the signs for which direction feels right for us.
The same thing might feel differently to others, but what they think and do is none of our business. This is about us as individuals.
We’re not here to judge those feelings, merely to listen to what they’re trying to tell us.
Sometimes, we’re being prompted to realize something so that we can make an internal shift. At other times, we might be given a clear signal that it’s best for us to step away, either temporarily or even permanently.
But our clarity comes more easily when we stop pushing the feelings away and start learning from them because discomfort loses its grip when we meet it with conscious awareness instead of resistance.
Sometimes we end up realizing that our work is internal. We need a shift in perspective, or to soften and quit judging ourselves and others.
Sometimes, we need to let go and release a story, a certainty, or a belief system that no longer serves us in our growth.
At other times, our discomfort isn’t asking us to change anything about ourselves at all. Sometimes, it’s information that’s coming from the external world.
It can be a signal that something isn’t quite in alignment. Maybe a boundary is needed to protect our space.
And sometimes it’s a signal that a particular person, situation, direction, or choice simply isn’t for us.
This is where our discernment comes in and we begin to ask ourselves more questions.
Maybe we need to speak up, step back, step away, or make a different choice.
And sometimes, we’re prompted to do nothing at all but to keep listening until clarity arrives.
This is the practice of discernment. We practice self control, learning to sit with tension and discomfort long enough to better understand it until we’re clear enough on what next action serves best.
We’re learning to distinguish between growth that can stretch us into more expansive living, as well as to identify situations that drain us and don’t serve us well.
So the next time discomfort shows up, see if you can pause instead of bracing yourself, armoring up, or ignoring it altogether.
Take a moment to breathe to settle your energy and then listen to what’s coming up for you instead of pushing the discomfort away.
Not every discomfort needs to be conquered, but most have something to teach us when we’re willing to stay present enough to listen to our inner voice.
Discernment grows and becomes louder in quiet and stillness.
Our goal is always to remain the master of our fate and the captain of our soul.
Thank you for taking the time to listen. If there’s personal resonance with this message, I invite you to join me for more musings at MindShift Musings.
Happy excavating.
Keep radiating, my friend✨
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MindShift Musings
Used with permission
